Continuation of Intro Part 3 of What I tried that did NOT work...

Health Scare That Nearly Took My Life

Fast forward to 2008 it’s my second semester at GSU for Exercise Science and I was recently accepted into a Military Internship at Fort McPherson Base. This one day I’m out at the base running drills for my test to graduate up to the next level in the internship program. Things went south when I was called off the field by the Internship Leader telling me I needed to get a doctor’s note to clear me to be out there training. I was confused and insisted that I was cleared and that I could finish the training. That’s when he told me I fainted not once but three times while trying to complete the drill.

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Long story short, I ended up going to the doctor and it was confirmed that my heart was swollen and overworked. The doctor said if my body had remained conscious and pushed through those drills my heart would have exploded and I would be dead. I was twenty-one years old. He said, all of my other vital organs were in excellent condition, but my heart was not. 

Well, that’s not the shocking part. What shocked me the most was the question he asked next. He says, “ Hey Tabitha, I’m going to ask you an unorthodox question please don’t get upset but are you upset with anyone by chance?” 

I was completely taken aback by his question. I quickly recovered by telling a lie saying that I wasn’t upset with anyone that I got along with everyone and that I loved everybody. 

I mean what would he know? I thought to myself. My anger issues and the condition of my heart have nothing to do with one another, so I thought. 

Well, before I left the doctor’s office he said to me, “Hey Tabitha, whoever it is, let them go, it's not worth your life.” 

It was those words that sunk into my heart like a dagger as I started to consider maybe I’ve been going about getting healed from the burdens within my mind, spirit, and the ailments in my body the wrong way. 

But how could I be wrong? I was an Exercise Science Major and nowhere does it talk about unforgiveness affecting the stability of one’s mind nor the physical ability of one’s body. 

Healing is not complicated

I’m sharing all of this with you because oftentimes we tend to make healing this complicated process that it’s not and we still end up struggling years later still trying to get heal and be set free. 

Here’s the Recap in bullet point form of what I tried, but didn’t work to help me heal and own my story:

1. Judging harshly the wrong someone did against me. 
2. Making a vow out of anger NEVER to be like someone because they hurt me. (Self-Righteousness)
3. Revisiting past pains and childhood memories. 
4. Anger Management
5. Stress Management to control anxiety 
6. Living in unforgiveness leaving me an open target for present situations to trigger a painful memory that could lead to panic attacks. 
7. Trying to compartmentalize my mental, spiritual, and physical issues as if they are separate from each other. 

In the next lesson, I will begin to share with you what I did that actually worked to heal and free from the trauma of abuse, addiction, social anxiety, panic attacks, excruciating periods, the sleeping and fainting spells, suicidal thoughts, low self-esteem, depression and much more!